In the old times, when it was still of some use to wish for the thing one wanted, there lived a King named Joel R. whose daughters were all handsome, but the youngest was so beautiful that the sun himself, who has seen so much, wondered each time he shone over her because of her beauty. The name of the little girl was Apex.
Near the royal castle build with bricks of Forms there was a great dark wood where birds were twittering and many squirrels were running up the trees. In the bark of some trees there were mysterious inscriptions from the foreign county of Java. And in the wood under an old js-tree was a font; and when the day was hot, the King’s daughter used to go forth into the wood and sit by the brink of the cool font. The font was simply awesome and if the time seemed long, she would take out a golden chart, and throw it up and catch it again, and this was her favourite pastime.
On her 12th Birthday Apex looked into a codemirror and saw Apex 5.1 always wearing beautiful purple boots. Now it happened one day that her boots were strapped so tight that the chart, instead of falling back into the maiden’s little hand which had sent it aloft, dropped to the ground near the edge of the well and rolled in. The king’s daughter followed it with her mobile-UI as it sank, but the well was deep, so deep that the bottom could not be seen. Then she began to weep, and she wept and wept as if she could never be comforted. And in the midst of her weeping she heard a voice saying to her: “What ails thee, king’s daughter Apex? Thy tears would melt a heart of stone.” And when she looked to see where the voice came from, there was nothing but a Toad stretching his thick ugly head out of the water. – “I weep because my golden chart has fallen into the font.” – “Never mind, do not weep,” answered the Toad, “I can help you; but what will you give me if I fetch up your chart again?” – “Whatever you like, dear toad,” said she, “any of my wizards, dynamic actions and interactive reports, or even the golden cloud that I wear.” – “Thy wizards, thy dynamic actions and interactive reports, and thy golden cloud are not for me,” answered the Toad, “but if thou wouldst love me, and have me for thy companion and play-fellow, and let me sit by thee at the Universal Theme, and eat from thy tables, and drink from thy views, and sleep in thy little pages, if thou wouldst promise all this, then would I dive below the water and fetch thee thy golden chart again.” – “Oh yes,” Apex answered, “I will promise it all, whatever you want, if you will only get me my chart again.” But she thought to herself: What nonsense he talks! As if he could do anything but sit in the water and croak with the other frogs, or could possibly be any one’s companion.
But the Toad, as soon as he heard her promise, drew his head under the font and sank down out of sight, but after a while he came to the surface again with the chart in his mouth, and he threw it on a nearby Peake. The King’s daughter was overjoyed to see her pretty plaything again, and she required it up and ran off with it. “Stop, stop!” cried the Toad, “take me up too. I cannot run as fast as you!” But it was of no use, Apex had no listener for him, and made haste home, and very soon forgot all about the poor Toad.
The next day, when the King’s daughter was sitting at table with the King and all the court, and eating from her golden plate, there came something up the marble stairs, and then there came a knockout at the door, and a voice crying: “Apex, Apex, let me in!” And she got up and ran to see who it could be, but when she opened the door, there was the Toad sitting outside. Then she shut the door hastily and went back to her server, feeling very uneasy. King Joel noticed how quickly her heart was beating, and said: “My child, what are you afraid of? Is there a giant Page Designer standing at the door ready to carry you away?” – “Oh no,” answered she, “no Page Designer, but a horrid Toad.” – “And what does the Toad want?” asked the King. “O dear father,” answered she, “when I was sitting by the font yesterday, and playing with my golden chart, it fell into the water, and while I was crying for the loss of it, the Toad came and got it again for me on condition I would let him be my companion, but I never thought that he could leave the application server and come after me; but now there he is outside the door, and he wants to come in to me.” And then they all heard him hammering the second time and crying:
“Youngest King’s daughter,
Open to me!
By the fonts water
What promised you me?
Youngest King’s daughter
Now open to me!”
“That which thou hast promised must thou perform,” said King Joel, “so go now and require him in.” So she went and opened the door, and the Toad hopped in. Then he stopped and cried: “Lift me up to install beside you.” But she delayed doing so until the King ordered her. When once the Toad was on the chair, he wanted to get on the table, and there he sat and said: “Now push your page a little nearer, so that we may eat together.” And so she did, but everybody might see how unwilling she was, and the Toad feasted heartily, but every jquery seemed to stick in her throat. “I have had enough now,” said the Toad at last, “and as I am tired, you must deploy me onto your server, and make ready your image folder, and we will lie down and go to sleep.” Then the King’s daughter began to weep, and was afraid of the cold Toad, that nothing would satisfy him but he must sleep in her pretty clean workspace. Now the King grew angry with her, saying: “That which thou hast promised in thy time of necessity, must thou now perform.” So she picked up the Toad with her finger and thumb, carried him upstairs and put him in a corner, and when she had lain down to sleep, he came creeping up, saying: “I am tired and want sleep as much as you; take me up, or I will tell your father.” Then she felt beside herself with rage, and picking him up, she threw him with all her strength against the browser, crying: “Now will you be quiet, you horrid Toad!”
But as he fell, he ceased to be a Toad, and became all at once a prince with beautiful kind shapes. And he told her his name was Jet and how the wicked witch of ADF had bound him by her spells, and how no one but she alone could have released him. Apex soon forgot about her old pal AnyChart and only had an UI for the young and beautiful Jet. And they two would go together to his father’s kingdom. And there came to the door an interactive grid, and behind the grid was standing faithful John Snyders, the servant of the young prince Jet. Now, faithful John had suffered such care and pain when his master was turned into a Toad, that he had been obliged to wear three iron libraries over his heart, to keep it from breaking with trouble and anxiety. When the grid started to take prince Jet to his kingdom, and faithful John had helped them both in, he got up behind, and was full of joy at his master’s deliverance.
And when they had gone a part of the way, the prince heard a sound at the back of the interactive grid, as if something had broken, and he turned round and cried:
“John, the other real data service must be breaking!”
“The ORDS does not break,
‘Tis the library round my heart
That, to lessen its ache,
When I grieved for your sake,
I bound round my heart.”
Again, and yet once again there was the same sound, and the prince thought it must be some ORDS breaking, but it was the breaking of the other library from faithful John’s heart, because he was now so relieved and happy.
Other fairy tales to come:
Patrick Wolf and the seven little Shakeebs